Exactly one year and one day later I sat in my doctors appointment yesterday to see what my next step is to this long journey of fighting against a difficult opponent. At my last appointment it was decided that I should take a break and then discuss whether a lower dose chemo pill was necessary or not. During my fifth post surgical chemotherapy treatment I had an allergic reaction that shook me up a little and also eliminated the use of the drug that caused the reaction. I was very tired at my last appointment, in need of a change of pace in some way or another so I asked if it was possible to go away. I love my home but I have felt stuck in it many times this year and a change of scenery was something I had longed for. My wonderful doctor totally understood, agreeing that I needed some fun. My friend Trina has lived in Grand Cayman for many years and after finally going down in February 2016 it was a place I was eager to go back.
Getting the ok from my doctor the first thing I did after my appointment was book a plane ticket and texted Trina that I was coming. It was a great week of low key fun, relaxation and not having to think about myself or anything I have done over the last year. I put a pin in everything I have had to think about and knew it would be addressed when I got home.
As I sat and waited in my oncologist's office I was a little down that I was back in the routine of treatment, appointments and hospitals, no matter how long I have been coming to the cancer centre I am never comfortable being there. I always feel like its not really me that is doing this even though it is very apparent it is me doing it. The nurses all know me, I am very familiar with where to go and I know all the ins and outs of how everything runs. Finally he comes in, with Sydney there as well awaiting what he has to say, I felt exhausted in the thought that in the days to come I probably won't feel good again. He sits directly in front of me as he always does and the conversation goes in the direction I was hoping for but wasn't expecting. It was decided that it is time for treatment to stop and monitoring me to begin! Time to start putting my life back together and healing, finding my health again and doing things to help my body and not hurt it!! I was so over joyed that this long year has brought me to this point and I am able to hear those words.
I can actually start finding a routine that is around the kids and events in our life instead of how I feel or which doctor I have to see!! I am over the moon grateful for every single one of them and the gift they have given me but it is nice to know that I will hopefully be seeing them less. As the reality of this news is still setting in I leave you with some pictures of Grand Cayman!